The Fat Guy

“As we turned the corner, my jaw hit the floor at the now visible gift mountain. Jangle became unimportant compared to the portly fellow sitting on a throne at the mountain’s peak. He had bushy white facial hair and a brilliant red outfit trimmed in white fluff. He even bore a black belt and black boots. There was no mistaking it: Santa stood but six octopods away. Real as can be. Santa towered over the crowd on the acme. He appeared to be taking children from each family and interrogating them. Once satisfied with their answers, he tossed them down a giant slide to his right. The slide looked kind of fun, actually, but the screams echoing from it implied otherwise. In short, the scene appalled me.” – Quincy Quiver

We know him better as Santa Claus. It turns out there’s a lot more to the man then we think. Well, maybe. It is Quincy’s personal opinion we’re getting after all.


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