It’s been a while since I’ve posted my rantings and I’m sorry internet. I promise to try and stay more on top of it from now on. Now, with that out of the way, let’s get down to business.
A week ago I went to visit a friend in L.A. and it was amAzing. If you haven’t been, go. Especially the San Diego zoo. It is awesome and you’ll see the inspiration behind the Manbird, who will be super famous some day when people actually read my writing. Just saying, you saw it here first, that bird is a straight boss.
At any rate, on the last day we got into this incredibly deep conversation about the x-men. Mostly their powers and such. I believe the conversation really started with me saying how much I love the story line between Professor X and Magneto. It is a great bond between hero and villain and provides a lot of interesting interactions.
We were watching Wolverine Origins and decided the Wolverine had such an OP power. I mean, he’s practically invincible right? How lame is that. Think about it. He has unlimited healing while there are poor mutants out there like Toad who’s main mutation is to be frog like. That’s a bad power. No wonder he’s a bad guy. He probably lived a terrible life growing up and turned bad as a result of society. Toad really just grew up with the wrong mutation.
We obviously discussed almost every mutant and whether or not their powers would be worth it. Like how Kitty Pride could essentially play the best game of keep away ever. I may be wrong but she can pass through objects, that means you couldn’t possibly harm her with anything; she’d just pass through it. Then there’s beast who, before making his condition worse, had the ability to hang up side down by his feet. How lame is that. And after the failed experiment? He became a big blue bear. Talk about getting the short stick.
While some of these mutants with terrible powers managed to become good, there were still some that hand no chance from birth. Mainly I’m talking about Juggernaut. Now he’s a guy that’s misunderstood. Think about it for a second. The man’s power is to have unstoppable momentum, right? That means he can’t do anything in life. He goes to put his coffee down on a table and smashes through it. He goes to shut a door and slams it off his hinges. He goes to have sex, and, well, you can picture that ending. All these terrible things happen around him his entire life and it’s not his fault. Annnd, people hate him for it. People don’t sympathize, they’re not like ” oh, it’s ok juggernaut, it’s not your fault for crashing through the ceiling” no. People are like, “hey meat head, why did you break the handle off all the doors?”
That kind of constant negative reinforcement would cause huge mental issues on any one. So much so to the point that Juggernaut is really just seeking out death. I mean he runs around slamming into things head first. Yea he’s got a helmet, but it’s made out of metal isn’t it? THe guys just trying to end it all, and in the mean time is spending his life with the only people who understand him.
My friend made the proposition for a real heart felt X-men movie. X-Men origins: Juggernaut; starring Daniel Day Lewis as the Juggernaut. I’m not too keen on his casting job, but I think there could be something brilliant there. Villains are fascinating. And some of them are just products of bad situations.
At any rate, I’m tired of typing, so I want to close with a toast. A toast to all the Juggernauts, Toads, Beasts, and that porcupine dude in X3 of the world. Rise above and don’t follow their pattern into evil. As Quincy would say “A good citizen is worth 30 buckets of ink during Octopodance Festival, while a bad one is worth but the bucket.” or something like that I’m sure.
-Your Vacationing Philosophizer