On A Beach Down in Mexico

Last week was my much needed vacation and for the first time ever I traveled out of the country. Where? To Mexico obviously. Cozumel to be exact; or as I like to call it paradise-sorta. 

First things first. I have to say I’m really glad I went to a Spanish speaking country. It made it much easier to understand some staff members we ran into as well as read labels and signs. Even knowing as much Spanish as we did – though it is incredibly rusty-  still had a few moments where we were lost in translation. From this experience I can only assume that going to a country where you don’t speak the slightest bit of the language would be overwhelming. 

Cozumel is beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced more perfect weather. It wasn’t too hot during the days. You could easily sit out in the sun for hours without oozing gallons of sweat. You could also play sports and the like without dying.  I’m not sure if it was just this time of year or always but despite being so warm the air wasn’t humid. If you’ve ever been to Florida or the Carolinas you know what I’m talking about.  The air down there is heavy and almost suffocating.  What was even better than being able to breathe lightly was that even if you were too hot you could simply find a shady spot and cool off.  And at nights it cooled off enough to wear pants and/or a sweatshirt.  Which is perfect in my mind. I love hoodies, they’re so comfortable.

We stayed at Allegro Cozumel, which was a great place. All inclusive, so as you can imagine the drinks were flying back. The food wasn’t bad either. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. Though I did spend an entire day sick. I’m pretty sure it was from the food, but it was probably my stomach attempting to adjust. 

The room was nice, and our awesome maid made us Dinosaurs out of the towels as we requested everyday.  I would suggest doing as many day activities as the resort has; beach volleyball, soccer, aqua aerobics. They were all a blast and laid back.  The nightly entertainment at the resort is hit or miss.  One night incorporated a battle of the sexes game which was funny, but as funny as watching the staff butcher different musicals was, I could’ve done without it.  

That’s the general stuff. On a more personal experience note I had a blast and practically every local we encountered asked me if I spoke Spanish, go figure. I’m sure the tan helped me look the part a bit more than I already do. We got to go snorkling which was eh.  I mean, seeing an eagle ray and barracuda( yes it was blue) swim past me was cool and I think I’d love doing it in a tank or maybe a higher populated area but the constant annoyance of swallowing saltwater sucked.  I don’t know if it was just me but I just could not get the process down.  Everything was fine and dandy when we got into the water but about half way offshore to our destination, five minutes after swimming against the waves things turned sour.  

Breathing heavy through a snorkel is an interesting experience. Not going to lie it put me into an ‘omg this a terrible idea I’m going to die’ mode. Not to mention that on the way out all there was to look at was seaweed and other gross algae stuff. But it all got worse don’t worry. To top it off I managed to be unable to prevent the saltwater from entering my mouth. 

The first time wasn’t too bad. I floated- sort of, the life vest doesn’t keep you completely above the water unfortunately- and attempted to clean it out and continue on my way. This however I foudnto be impossible. I could have had a towel and a blow dryer and salt water would have still clung to the mouth piece. Eventually I sucked it up and went on my salty flavored way. No more than 10 seconds later did I manage to be too horizontal while swimming against the waves. My positioning and the height of the wave caused my snorkel to flood with salt water. Yup. One giant gulp of salt water. Cause you know, gagging is a great experience while snorkeling. Don’t worry I survived, if but barely, and all in all I would suggest you try snorkeling.


Oh, and  let me tell you about Mexican pharmaceuticals, or better known on our journey to Mexico as the Mexican Miracle Drop. Those of you who have contacts will be able to sympathize. Someway, somehow, I got something in my eye. This happens from time to time with contact wearers. We touch our eyes twice a day, there exist a chance something will rub into it or we’ll scratch it -which blows. Well, lucky me got something in my eye in Mexico and I just so happened to not bring any eye drops, because I am smart.  Whatever it was caused more issues than is typical for such things. Usually I can get away with waiting it out, but this bugger hurt and essentially turned my eyeball into a tear faucet. So we ventured to the resort store. Of course they didn’t have any product in English, so seeing as the cashier couldn’t understand my current health dilemma I was left to figure out what eye drops were what. Now, I thought this wouldn’t be such a huge issue. Eye drops are eye drops right? So I bought one and got to work. Well the second that eye drop hit my eye I thought I blinded myself for life. The pain! Oh, the pain. I literally felt like my eyeball was melting. Talk about a scary ‘no no no’ moment. Luckily the pain subsided and almost instantly my eye was healed. And from that moment forward that single drop became known as the Mexican Miracle Drop. Safe to say I never used the stuff again.

So yea, booze, beaches, snorkeling, Mexico, do it. Now. Go.

Oh and make sure you listen to this song while you’re there. -> So Good 

B.o.B was the official theme song of the trip.  How could it not be? “See us on a beach down in Mexico” If that doesn’t suit a trip to Cozumel, then I don’t know what does. 

Also, I promise that at some point in time I’ll actually read over these and maybe edit them before I post them. But for now I’m too lazy and I’m just going to hope that they’re clear enough.

Your Mexican Museum Lamp Wielder

Here’s a picture of me failing at doing the limbo.


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